I grew up in a small town in Austria, which would have you believe that life in the alps was rosy. Not quite. I was born with a speech impediment, stuttering, which left me with crippling self-doubt, loneliness, desperation and a feeling of being broken.
I just wanted to be like everybody else.
I prayed to be normal.
Regardless of how much I prayed, hoped and wished nothing changed. Instead I felt daily humiliation and embarrassment. What may seem like mundane and natural activities to “regular” people, like standing up in class to read out loud, introducing myself to strangers, having a conversation with family members, or going to the grocery store and ordering 20 grams of bologna caused me panic attacks and internal terror.
On top of that I grew up with a pressuring belief system of having to be perfect, work hard to be the best in school, and be an exemplary role model to my two younger siblings. I did as I was told, which only added to my already stressed and anxious little self, because I felt like no matter what I did it never was good enough.
I didn’t know how to enjoy myself, how to have fun, or how to make friends.
I admire people who talk about having met their best friends in kindergarten and are still friends today. We all know how important it is to develop social skills early. I, however, was too timid to talk to my schoolmates and only met my first real friend at the age of 12, simply because she said hello to me. This may seem small to many, but to me it was life changing.
At 14 years old, I was persuaded to believe that becoming a hairdresser was the best career choice, a choice that absolutely did not resonate with my purpose. In my heart I knew I was meant for something more meaningful to me. I wanted to enter the medical field. I wanted to help people heal, and instead was stuck in a world where vanity and exterior motives were overvalued. This was not the dream I dreamed of for myself after being an A student for so many years.
Today I understand that no time is ever wasted and there is a divine master plan behind the unfolding of our life.
During my apprenticeship I developed a fascination with psychology as I listened to parents, professionals, and executives opening up about their insecurities, secrets, and intimate personal issues.
After all, people tell their hairdressers everything, don’t they?
And still my own demons, the stuttering, kept haunting me with daily anxiety, panic attacks, nervousness, racing heart, thoughts of suicide, not feeling good enough, feeling inferior and broken, without escape.
I gained a lot of weight, started smoking, drinking alcohol, and leading an unhealthy lifestyle. I was definitely hanging out with the wrong crowd, but to me any crowd was better than no crowd at all.
I looked at my sad little life and asked myself, “Is this what you want for yourself? Do you want to continue on the same path for the next 10, 20, 30 years?” Those questions moved and shook me and I instantly decided that I needed a dramatic change.
Believe it or not, within a very short time span after making that decision I found a tiny ad that read “Hairdresser wanted for NY”. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
At 21, I jumped on the opportunity and took my first flight ever to New York. As a kid and teen I even secretly dreamed of one day living in London or NY. The fascination began when we began studying English in third grade. I fell in love with everything British and American.
I still remember it like it was yesterday, landing in the massive JFK airport, smelling that undeniable New York City scent for the first time, meeting a sea of colorful people, and the taking in the hustle and bustle of the city. Even though I was in a completely new and foreign territory I instantly felt at home. The feeling was solidified even more by how welcoming and kind people treated me. Nobody made fun of my accent. People greeted me with patience and compassion. Back then, Austria frowned upon immigrants, so naturally I expected to be treated like an outcast, however New York City truly is a melting pot.
Shortly after settling in New York, I met my husband Paul who from day one showered me with unconditional love. He noticed how dissatisfied I was about my job and encouraged me to follow my dream. That is when my 20-year fitness career started. I became a Personal Trainer, Group Fitness Instructor and Nutritionist and inspired women in their 40s and 50s to get into the best shape of their lives. I created a wildly popular outdoor fitness bootcamp program for women over age 40. Imagine working out outdoors in 30 degree winter weather with snow on the ground, or in hot summer humidity? My clients were real rockstars for putting up with my expectations. Of course they also looked like rockstars.😎
I felt passionate and joyful about my career for a while, but deep down inside I knew I was meant to help and serve in a much larger capacity. I sensed my excitement fading daily and my career felt like a hamster wheel that I no longer wanted to be on.
I had reached a critical point in my life and became brutally honest with myself as to how truly unhappy and dissatisfied I had become. I realized that I had massive self worth and self confidence issues. I didn’t feel good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, even though I had a family, friends and a community who supported me. I desperately wanted to learn how to believe in myself, how to set goals, how to speak up, how to take a stand for my wants and needs, how to set boundaries, let go of anxiety, depression and fear, and how to finally go after my dream.
And what was my dream?
How could I give myself the unconditional love that my husband showered me with consistently? I wanted to become a better mother to our two children, and a powerful leader for myself, my family and my community. I knew that I needed to heal myself before I could even discover who I was and what my dream was.
Desperately searching for solutions I tried talk therapy, marriage counseling, meditation, yoga, retreats, massages, sabbaticals, self help books, breathing techniques, tapping, among many other things, only to find out none of it helped.
Then I finally discovered some cutting edge self development tools and experienced massive personal breakthroughs within a very short time.
Within a short time I felt confident, liberated, at peace, and healthy!
Through all of it, I had found my calling.
I became a Transformational Coach and immediately went to work.
At first I was extremely skeptical because some of the methods and techniques seem too good to be true. My trust, faith and repetition paid off however, because I got to help tons of people recover from their limiting beliefs, negative emotions, addictions, insecurities, self-doubt, and subconscious blocks, so that they could become the person they are meant to be.
Today my mission is to help high achieving professionals recover from personal and professional burnout and regain their life, passion, and potential like never before.
I help professionals gain clarity to create the life they want and make the impact in the world they are here to make.
Developed over years of research in neuroscience, neuro linguistic programming, energy psychology, comprehensive leadership development, hypnotherapy, advanced dynamic neuroplasticity, and my experience as an entrepreneur, my signature program Total Transformation, empowers individuals to become their best self so they can lead and live balanced, sustainable, and fulfilling lives—without sacrificing their health, careers, relationships or happiness.
My intensive curriculum offers deep self-exploration at both the conscious and subconscious levels – the only way to get impactful results quickly that last long-term.
I feel deeply honored and privileged to share my mission and passion with the world. Thank you!
Success Mindset by Urban
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