A ( hypnotic) framework that will allow you to have seemingly difficult conversations with more ease and confidence, while also being assertive and deliberate.
Preframe: Give the person a reason/purpose for a conversation that you would like to initiate and a “heads up” – an invitation to a conversation they get to accept or refuse.
You;, “Name, there is something important on my mind I would like to share with you, that may not be easy/convenient/comfortable to hear. When would be a good time for us to talk? or…would now be a good time to talk or is 5pm better ( this frame presupposes that it WILL happen)“
Optimally they will accept and the conversation can begin. If they are not open to listening or refuse to have a conversation, that speaks volumes in itself, because we can’t force somebody to pay attention to us, but gives us an opportunity to see what they really think of us if they don’t want to communicate, doesn’t it?
Frame what you really want to say:
You; “I really appreciate how ( fill in what’s appropriate here) hard you work and take care of many things. I don’t tell you often enough. Thank you. I have been feeling a lot of overwhelm and pressure from being with our child 24/7. I am in pain most of the day, feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and really worried about my health, and as much as I love to be there for our child/business/home/thing, and appreciate that I can take care of our child, it takes a huge toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally.
You guys might think that just because I am retired/have time/have the skill set I should take over all of the care, but I am a human being too, just like everybody else, and I deserve and need a break.
I would really appreciate it if you could take charge of our child some of the time ( be definite in what you would prefer….a few hours? certain activities? Besides, our child really wants and needs to spend more time with his mom. Would you be open to negotiating an amicable plan that would work for everybody?”
Wait for a response….
Closing
You; “Do you have any ideas on how we can find a way to make this easier and better for everybody? What are your thoughts? I appreciate your input and ideas and I am happy to give you some time to think about this.” ( the ball is back in their court and we are giving them response-ability)
A conversation like this can lead to a better collaboration where both parties become invested in a solution that creates a win-win.I hope this helps.