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What’s Really Going On in the Mind of Someone Who Fears Speaking Up?

You see them at meetings — staying quiet, nodding along, maybe even rehearsing a comment in their head but never actually saying it.

Or maybe that someone is you.

Fear of speaking shows up in all kinds of places: public speaking, job interviews, sales calls, Zoom meetings, even casual conversations or avoiding confrontations.

It’s easy to assume this is just about nerves. But what’s really going on beneath the surface is much deeper.

What They’re Thinking on the Surface

Most people dealing with fear of speaking are caught in a mental loop that sounds something like:

“What if I mess up?”

“I’m going to forget what I wanted to say.”

“They’ll think I sound stupid.”

“I hate how my voice sounds.”

“Why would anyone listen to me?”

But underneath those thoughts are even more powerful beliefs that were often formed years — even decades — ago.

What nobody tells you – The Deeper Truth:

Our Subconscious Beliefs Are Running the Show
Here’s what the subconscious is often whispering in the background:

“It’s not safe to be seen or heard.”

“If I make a mistake, I’ll be rejected or humiliated.”

“I have to be perfect, or people won’t respect me.”

“I don’t deserve to take up space.”

These beliefs usually didn’t come out of nowhere. Often, they started in childhood — maybe someone was laughed at, corrected harshly, or simply not listened to when they tried to speak. The brain registered that moment as danger and filed it away as “Better stay quiet next time.”

Even if someone had a relatively positive childhood, they might have absorbed unspoken messages like:

“Be polite.”

“Don’t interrupt.”

“Speak only when spoken to.”

“Don’t draw attention to yourself.”

Over time, those messages become subconscious patterns.

And those patterns create fear when it’s time to speak up as an adult — especially in situations that feel high-stakes or vulnerable.

What the Body Feels

When someone’s about to speak and that old programming kicks in, it’s not just mental — it’s physical:

Racing heart

Dry mouth

Shaky hands

Tight chest

Tunnel vision

Total brain fog

And then comes the self-judgment: “Why am I like this?”
But this isn’t a flaw. It’s a protective pattern.

The Good News

The fear isn’t who you are — it’s something your subconscious learned to do to keep you safe. And because it was learned, it can be unlearned.

I’ve worked with people who spent years avoiding the spotlight, only to find their voice again in just a session or two — not by pushing through fear, but by rewiring it at the source.

If you’re tired of shrinking yourself to feel safe, just know this:

Your voice matters. It’s safe to be seen. And you don’t have to do this alone.

Ready to finally free yourself from the fear? Let’s talk.

Imagine a child. Not just any child—you.

You’re small. You’re bright-eyed. You feel everything with intensity. The world is alive, and so are you. But slowly, something shifts.

You cry, and someone tells you, “Stop being dramatic.”

You express excitement, and they say, “Calm down.”

You feel hurt, and they dismiss it with, “It wasn’t that bad.”

You’re scared, and they mock you with, “Don’t be such a baby.”

You do well in school and they threaten you with, “Don’t outshine your siblings.”

So you learn.

You learn that your emotions are wrong.

You learn that your voice is too much.

You learn that your truth is inconvenient.

And without realizing it, you begin to abandon yourself.

You Weren’t Just Ignored—You Were Emotionally Exiled

This isn’t about being “disrespected.” This is something deeper, something more insidious.

You were gaslit into doubting your own reality.

You were conditioned to silence your own needs.

You were told that what you feel doesn’t matter.

You were taught to swallow your pain like poison, hoping one day it would make you worthy.

But all it did was teach you how to shrink.

And now, as an adult, that same wound still breathes beneath your skin.

You second-guess yourself in every decision.

You apologize for things that aren’t your fault.

You feel guilty for resting, for existing, for wanting more.

You chase validation like a starving dog, because deep down, you were trained to believe that love is earned through suffering and people pleasing.

And when you feel lost, broken, or empty inside, you think the problem is you.

It’s not.

The Silent Epidemic: How This Wound Shapes Your Entire Life

This is not just a “rough childhood.” This is the root cause of anxiety, burnout, depression, addictions, fears, and deep-seated feelings of inadequacy.

Why? Because when you are forced to abandon your emotions, you are forced to abandon yourself.

And a person who doesn’t trust themselves can never feel safe in the world.

This is why therapy, mindset work, and positive thinking fail for so many people. They’re trying to “think” their way out of something that was programmed into their subconscious long before they even had words for it.

Real healing doesn’t happen by faking confidence or repeating affirmations in the mirror. It happens when your subconscious and conscious mind stop fighting each other.

It happens when you unlearn the lie that your emotions make you weak.

It happens when you reclaim the voice that was stolen from you.

It happens when you stop abandoning yourself just to belong.

And when that happens? Everything changes.

Because healing isn’t about becoming someone new.

It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.

If this hit you like a ton of bricks, it’s because this is the truth you’ve always felt but never had the words for.

And no, you’re not broken.

You’ve just been programmed to betray yourself—but that programming can be undone.

This is exactly what I help people with. Not surface-level fixes, not mindset tricks, but deep, subconscious reprogramming that sets you free at the core.

If you’re done carrying the weight of this and ready to reclaim yourself, I’m the person who will help you do it. Let’s talk.

Have you ever felt stuck, anxious, or like something deep inside is holding you back? Maybe you can’t pinpoint why, but you struggle with confidence, relationships, or finding true happiness. What if I told you that the root of those struggles might lie in your childhood? Many people are unknowingly carrying the weight of childhood trauma—and it’s affecting their lives in ways they don’t realize.

As a hypnotherapist and peak performance coach, I see this all the time. People come to me feeling frustrated or broken, but what they don’t realize is that their minds and bodies are still reacting to experiences from long ago.

What Really Is Childhood Trauma?

Childhood trauma doesn’t mean you had to go through something extreme like abuse or tragedy (though those can obviously cause trauma too). It often comes from moments that might seem small or harmless from an adult perspective but felt overwhelming to a child.

For example:

• A parent telling you to stop crying because “it’s not a big deal.”
• Being scolded or criticized in a way that made you feel you weren’t good enough.
• Feeling ignored or unseen because your caregiver was too busy or stressed.
• Being laughed at or teased in ways that felt deeply hurtful as a child.
• Being told “don’t be so sensitive”, or “be a good child”, even though you felt uncomfortable or unsafe in a certain situation.

As adults, we can look back and think, “That wasn’t such a big deal,” but for a child, these moments can feel like the end of the world. Why? Because children don’t yet have the tools or maturity to understand, process, or cope with big emotions.

The Missing Support

The problem with childhood trauma isn’t just the hardship itself—it’s the fact that during those difficult moments, the child didn’t receive the support, comfort, or guidance they needed.

Hardship is a natural part of life, and we all face it. But when a child feels alone in their pain—when no one helps them process their emotions or makes them feel safe and understood—that’s when the experience becomes truly damaging and long lasting.

For example:

• A child who is scared of thunder might feel fine if a parent says, “I’m here, and you’re safe.” Without that reassurance, the fear lingers.
• A child who fails at something might bounce back quickly if someone helps them see their worth beyond success. Without that, they may grow up feeling like failure defines them.

These gaps in support leave children with beliefs like, “I’m not safe,” “I’m not good enough,” or “I can’t trust anyone.” And these beliefs don’t just disappear—they follow us into adulthood.

How Trauma Shows Up in Adult Life

When childhood trauma isn’t healed, it manifests in ways we might not immediately connect to the past. Here are some examples:

• Fear of failure: Avoiding risks because you’re terrified of making mistakes.
• Anxiety: Always feeling on edge, as if danger is just around the corner.
• Low self-esteem: Believing you’re not worthy of love, success, or happiness.
• People-pleasing: Trying to keep everyone happy to avoid rejection or criticism.

These patterns were your mind’s way of protecting you as a child, but as an adult, they can hold you back from living your best life.

The Good News: Healing Is Possible

No matter what you went through or how long you’ve carried it, YOU CAN HEAL. Your subconscious mind, where all these patterns are stored, is incredibly powerful. It’s also adaptable, which means it can let go of the old beliefs and create new ones.

Through hypnotherapy, Time Line Therapy®, and subconscious mind reprogramming, we can:

1. Gently explore the root of these beliefs and patterns.
2. Reframe the past in a way that allows you to let go of pain and fear.
3. Build new, empowering beliefs that support confidence, peace, and happiness.

You don’t have to relive the pain to heal it. You just have to be open to understanding and releasing it.

What Would Life Look Like Without the Chains of Trauma?

Imagine waking up without that constant sense of worry or fear. Picture yourself confidently going after what you want, building healthy relationships, and feeling truly happy and at peace. That’s the life you deserve.

But healing starts with awareness. The first step is recognizing that your struggles aren’t “just who you are.” They might be tied to childhood experiences you’ve outgrown but haven’t yet released.

Take the First Step

If you’re ready to break free from what’s holding you back, I’m here to guide you. Together, we can uncover the patterns, heal the wounds, and help you step into the life you’ve always wanted.

Don’t wait to start living the life you deserve. Let’s begin your journey to freedom and fulfillment today.

Even after 10 years of practicing hypnotherapy and seeing life-changing results for myself and my clients, I couldn’t stop wondering why hypnotherapy works so well when other methods fail. After searching for answers, I discovered there’s actually a logical process behind it—a step-by-step approach that explains why hypnotherapy is so effective.

For hypnotherapy to create real change, a few things are key:

1. Taking Responsibility: The person seeking change must be willing to take ownership of their problem, instead of blaming others or hoping for a quick fix.

2. Willingness to Do the Work: Often, this means exploring the root cause of the issue, investing time, energy, and resources into understanding and overcoming it.

3. Commitment to the Outcome: Staying dedicated to the end result, even when it takes effort, is crucial.

Hypnotherapy works through the connection between our conscious and subconscious minds. Scientists like Nassim Haramein explain that everything in the universe is connected by invisible threads of energy. When you focus on something you really want, you send out positive vibrations, like tiny waves, that attract what you desire. The clearer and more positive your thoughts, the more powerful the results.

Hypnotherapy helps you tap into your subconscious mind, allowing you to break through barriers, shift habits, and align your thoughts with the outcomes you truly want. When you combine willingness, effort, and commitment with the guidance of a skilled hypnotherapist, real and lasting change becomes possible—fast.

Haramein’s theory suggests that when you focus your mind on something you want, you start attracting it into your life because your thoughts and energy connect to the universe, and the universe responds to you. It’s like tuning a radio to the right station—if you’re thinking about good things, you get good things back.

Think about when you really wanted something, like giving a presentation or doing well in a golf game. If you constantly told yourself, “I can do this,” and believed it, you probably worked hard and did well. This is because your positive thinking helped you take the right actions to succeed.

Exercise to Try: 

Pick a Goal: Choose something small you want to happen in the next week, like enjoying a nice meal with somebody you love, or finishing a project on time.

Visualize: Close your eyes and imagine what it would feel like if you achieved that goal. Picture yourself being proud and happy.

Positive Thinking: Every day, tell yourself, “I can do this.” Try to feel positive about it, like it’s already going to happen.

Take Action: Do something that moves you toward your goal. If your goal is finishing the project early, set aside time to do it.

In real life, people who keep thinking positively about their goals often find that things start working out for them, like getting help from others or finding the motivation they need. It’s not magic—it’s like setting yourself up to do your best!

How Hypnotherapy Can Solve What’s Holding You Back

Do you know how sometimes we can feel stuck with unwanted habits or we feel burdened by problems that seem impossible to solve? Whether it’s anxiety, fear of public speaking, overeating, insomnia, or a lack of confidence, you’re not alone in feeling like life is holding you back. 

But here’s the good news: what feels impossible can actually be overcome much faster than you think, and the answer lies in your own mind.

Why Do We Struggle?

Most of us have stories running in our minds — stories that are often rooted in past experiences, fears, or limiting beliefs. We might have picked up statements like “people with money are greedy” and then wonder why we can’t be prosperous, or thinking that we are “not good enough” and we continue sabotaging every relationship. These stories and unconscious beliefs create habits and patterns of behavior that seem tough to break AND they are the cause for playing small. Anxiety, procrastination, self-doubt, and even addictions are not just emotional hurdles; they are behaviors programmed deep into the subconscious mind.

It’s not your fault.

It’s the fault of your programming. 

Your subconscious mind is in charge. 

But guess what? You can reprogram your subconscious mind to break free from these struggles, and you don’t need months or years of therapy to do it.

The Power of Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy works by addressing the root cause of your struggles — your subconscious programming. Think of your mind like a computer. Sometimes, it runs outdated software (old beliefs and habits) that no longer serves you. Hypnosis is like hitting the reset button, allowing you to update that software and install new, empowering beliefs.

Here are just a few of the common issues hypnotherapy can solve:

Anxiety and Stress: Hypnotherapy calms the mind, helping you release the emotional baggage like anger, resentment, fear, and guilt, that keeps anxiety in control. Imagine waking up feeling calm and confident every day.

Procrastination and Lack of Focus: By reprogramming your mind, hypnotherapy helps you build habits that make focus and productivity easy. No more beating yourself up for being “lazy” or not motivated enough.

Overeating and Addictions: These are behaviors controlled by the subconscious. With hypnosis, you can eliminate cravings, overeating, emotional eating, drinking too much alcohol, smoking, gambling, overworking, or shopping and break free from addictions easily.

Fear of Public Speaking or Failure: Sorry to say, but this is my favorite issue to help people with , not only because I can relate personally, but because the reward of being free of fear and speaking freely is absolutely amazing and very liberating. Hypnotherapy rewires the subconscious fear responses, allowing you to step into the spotlight with ease and confidence.

Why Other Solutions Don’t Work

You’ve probably tried everything: breathing techniques, meditation, affirmations, even traditional therapy. But if you’re still stuck, that’s because these methods only scratch the surface. I hear this all the time. People reach out to me as a last resort, and if they had only known about these methods they could have saved a lot of time, money and energy. 

The truth is, if you don’t change the subconscious mind, the problem will persist. This is where hypnotherapy shines. It works with your mind at a deep, unconscious level to make lasting change quickly — often in just one or two sessions.

What’s the Real Cost of Staying Stuck?

Let’s be honest — staying stuck in a loop of fear, anxiety, or bad habits isn’t just uncomfortable. It’s costing you. Maybe it’s holding you back from getting that promotion, affecting your relationships, or keeping you from feeling truly happy and fulfilled. The cost of not taking action is far greater than the investment in your own transformation.

Hypnotherapy: Fast, Effective, and Lasting Results

Imagine breaking free from the patterns that have been holding you back for years — in just a few hours. With hypnotherapy, this is possible. You don’t need months of hard work or painful therapy sessions. You can make the shift, and it can happen easily and quickly.

Ready to take control of your life and break free from what’s been holding you back? Book your hypnotherapy session today and start your journey toward lasting change. 

By taking this step, you’re not just getting help for a problem — you’re opening the door to a whole new version of yourself, one that is confident, fearless, and unstoppable.