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How to have difficult conversations with more ease and confidence

A ( hypnotic)  framework that will allow you to have seemingly difficult conversations with more ease and confidence, while also being assertive and deliberate.

Preframe: Give the person a reason/purpose for a conversation that you would like to initiate and a “heads up” –  an invitation to a conversation they get to accept or refuse.

You;, “Name, there is something important on my mind I would like to share with you, that may not be easy/convenient/comfortable to hear. When would be a good time for us to talk? or…would now be a good time to talk or is 5pm better ( this frame presupposes that it WILL happen)“

Optimally they will accept and the conversation can begin. If they are not open to listening or refuse to have a conversation, that speaks volumes in itself, because we can’t force somebody to pay attention to us, but gives us an opportunity to see what they really think of us if they don’t want to communicate, doesn’t it?

Frame what you really want to say: 

You; “I really appreciate how ( fill in what’s appropriate here)  hard you work and take care of many things. I don’t tell you often enough. Thank you. I have been feeling a lot of overwhelm and pressure from being with our child 24/7. I am in pain most of the day, feel exhausted, emotionally drained, and really worried about my health, and as much as I love to be there for our child/business/home/thing, and appreciate that I can take care of our child, it takes a huge toll on me physically, mentally and emotionally. 

You guys might think that just because I am retired/have time/have the skill set I should take over all of the care, but I am a human being too, just like everybody else, and I deserve and need a break. 

I would really appreciate it if you could take charge of our child some of the time ( be definite in what you would prefer….a few hours? certain activities? Besides, our child really wants and needs to spend more time with his mom. Would you be open to negotiating an amicable plan that would work for everybody?”

Wait for a response….

Closing

You; “Do you have any ideas on how we can find a way to make this easier and better for everybody? What are your thoughts? I appreciate your input and ideas and I am happy to give you some time to think about this.” ( the ball is back in their court and we are giving them response-ability)

A conversation like this can lead to a better collaboration where both parties become invested in a solution that creates a win-win.I hope this helps.

Be Brave and You Will Be Rewarded

The Rewards of Taking Action and the Cost of Hesitation:

How Delaying Action Reinforces Negative Self-Beliefs and Undermines Professional Confidence

It has been my experience as a hypnotherapist and peak performance coach that too many brilliant, intelligent, smart, educated, experienced professionals are waiting and hesitating for way too long to take action in the world and often wait for somebody to offer a “permission slip”, when what they really need is them giving themselves the reassurance that NOW is the exact right time to dominate.

Taking decisive action in your professional life is crucial for growth and success. Hesitating and waiting to act, however, can have the opposite effect, reinforcing negative limiting beliefs and eroding your self-confidence. When you postpone decisions or delay pursuing opportunities, you inadvertently send yourself the message that you are not capable or worthy.

This self-doubt can become a vicious cycle, where inaction breeds more inaction, fueled by the fear of failure or rejection. Over time, this pattern can severely undermine your confidence and prevent you from reaching your full potential. Embracing proactive steps and confronting challenges head-on not only breaks this cycle but also builds resilience and self-assurance, essential qualities for any successful professional.

If you want a bit of help with restoring your self esteem and self confidence, please reach out, because I have some phenomenal tools I can offer that will cause rapid and profound change in how you feel about yourself and how you can act.

It’s about time you shine your light!☀️🌈💡

Understanding and Healing Abandonment Issues

I want to discuss a topic that’s deeply impactful yet often misunderstood: abandonment issues, also known as abandonment wounds or abandonment anxiety.

These are closely linked to attachment issues in relationships, and they can manifest in various ways, affecting different aspects of our lives. My goal is to break down how these issues show up, how to recognize if you are affected, and what the short-term and long-term consequences are.

Most importantly, I want to share strategies for healing and overcoming these wounds.

Holding on to these emotional scars isn’t just unhelpful; it can significantly impact every relationship you have, including those at work, with friends, family, and romantic partners. It is crucial to address these wounds because they influence how you interact with everyone around you, often without you even realizing it.

Recognizing Abandonment Issues
If you suspect that you have abandonment issues, it likely stems from experiences during your early childhood. It’s important to understand that these feelings of abandonment might not come from clear memories of being left alone. Our subconscious mind holds all our memories, and some are repressed or suppressed, surfacing only when we start to investigate and converse with our inner selves.

As children, our perception of abandonment can be very different from an adult’s. A seemingly minor event, such as a parent momentarily disappearing from sight, can feel like a life-threatening situation to a child. This can create deep-seated fears and beliefs about not being loved or valued, which can carry over into adulthood.

How Abandonment Issues Manifest
Abandonment issues often show up in significant relationships, whether romantic, familial, or professional.

They can manifest in two primary ways:

Trust Issues and Jealousy: You might constantly question your partner’s loyalty, check their phone or history, and have a pervasive fear that they will leave you. This mistrust isn’t about the other person’s actions but stems from your deep-seated fear of abandonment. This can lead to self-sabotaging behaviors, such as breaking off relationships to avoid potential hurt.

Clinginess and Desperation: On the other hand, abandonment issues can cause you to become overly dependent and clingy, willing to tolerate disrespect or unhealthy behavior just to keep the relationship. This desperation for love can lead you to lose your sense of self, constantly bending over backwards to please others.

The Emotional and Physical Impact
Those with abandonment issues often experience a range of emotional and physical symptoms, including:

Anxiety and Stress: Constant worrying and feeling insecure about the future and relationships.
Depression and Sleep Disorders: Difficulty sleeping, mood swings, and a general sense of unhappiness.
Chronic Pain and Tension: Unresolved emotional issues can manifest as physical symptoms, such as chronic pain and tension, which doctors might struggle to diagnose.

Healing from Abandonment Issues
The good news is that healing is possible. One effective method is through hypnotherapy, which helps you explore your subconscious mind to uncover and address the root causes of your abandonment issues. By understanding and healing these wounds, you can rebuild your self-esteem, regain self-confidence, and start to feel comfortable in your own skin again.

As you heal, you’ll notice significant improvements in your relationships and overall well-being. You’ll attract healthier relationships and feel more secure and happy within yourself.

Moving Forward
If you recognize these patterns in yourself, know that you don’t have to live with them forever. Healing is within reach, and it can lead to a profound transformation in your life. If you’re interested in learning more or exploring this further, let’s have a conversation. Remember, taking care of your emotional well-being is crucial, and healing your abandonment issues can lead to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

❤️Take care and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

What they don’t tell us about trauma

I want to share some facts about uncovering unresolved trauma, because most people don’t know what trauma is, what it causes and how to overcome it.

Common Indicators and Solutions about Trauma

Understanding if you have unresolved trauma can be challenging. Trauma is often misunderstood as only the result of significant, life-altering events. However, trauma encompasses a wide range of experiences, many of which might not seem immediately obvious. Here are some indicators that you might be dealing with unresolved trauma:

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Indicators of Unresolved Trauma:

  • Emotional and Mental Symptoms: Anxiety, depression, self-doubt, lack of confidence, overthinking, difficulty making decisions, and self-criticism.
  • Physical Symptoms: Chronic conditions such as excessive weight gain, anorexia, bulimia, migraines, persistent pain, or other long-term and chronic health issues.
  • Behavioral Patterns: Procrastination, self-sabotage, emotional eating, addictions, and attracting toxic relationships.
  • Thought Patterns: Worrying about the future, holding on to past guilt or resentment, and feeling unworthy or broken.

These symptoms can severely impact your potential and overall well-being. Unresolved trauma can make you feel disconnected from your true self, and it often takes more than traditional methods to heal fully.

Effective Healing with Hypnotherapy:

Unlike many conventional approaches, hypnotherapy can help you achieve profound and lasting healing. It allows you to access the deepest parts of your mind, uncovering and resolving the root causes of your issues. Hypnotherapy is a gentle, compassionate, and effective modality that can help you break free from the grip of trauma, regardless of how long you’ve been struggling with it.

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By addressing the subconscious mind, hypnotherapy helps you discover the answers within yourself, leading to genuine transformation and empowerment.

You start to experience real relief and healing, unlocking your full potential.

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If you’re interested in exploring how hypnotherapy can help you, feel free to leave comments or questions. I’m here to assist you on your journey to becoming your best self.

Choosing the Right Hypnotherapist:

It’s crucial to work with a competent hypnotherapist with whom you feel comfortable. The therapeutic relationship is intimate and requires trust and rapport. Take your time to select the right practitioner for your needs to ensure the best results.

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For further information and resources, you can explore more about hypnotherapy on my website. If you have any questions or need guidance, please reach out. I’m here to help you unlock your true potential and live your best life.

Build Unshakable Confidence

A Step-by-Step Guide

This exercise in programming the mind will help you get from a nervous, tense, anxious and uncomfortable state toward feeling more confident, calm, strong and empowered and can be used in any context, whether you are looking to ask for a raise, deliver a speech, ask somebody out on a date, or become a more confident person. 

Think about a place in your life where you would like to feel more confident, empowered and self assured. 

The example below is for a professional who wants to be more comfortable delivering a statement. 

Step 1: Assess Current Confidence

Question: “John, on a scale of 1 to 10, how confident do you feel about making your statement? (10 being super confident, and 1 being ‘I just want to run away.’)”

Purpose: Gauge your current level of confidence. He might pick a low number, which is okay.

Step 2: Break State Physically

Action: Encourage John to shake it off by moving his body or clapping his hands enthusiastically.

Purpose: This physical activity helps shift his body and mind into a more positive state.

Step 3: Recall a Confident Moment

Question: “Can you think of a time in your life when you felt good, confident, or strong?”

Note: The context of the memory isn’t important; focus on the empowering emotional state.

Step 4: Immerse in the Positive Memory

Guidance: Say, “Be there now and see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. What does it feel like to feel this way? Who do you become when you feel this way? How is your posture, breathing, energy, tonality, look in your eyes, movement in your body for you to know you are indeed confident? How does it feel as a human being to feel that way? What’s important to you about being that person?”

Purpose: Encourage John to fully immerse himself in the memory and amplify the positive feelings. Be playful and supportive, building up the emotion.

Step 5: Apply the Confidence to the Present Challenge

Question: Once John is in a peak state, quickly ask, “Now, you are in that room making that statement. How does it feel now as you are there?”

Follow-Up: Ask, “What do you sound like when you feel confident? What do you see about yourself when you are confident? Where is that feeling in your body? Let that feeling double, quadruple, even multiply by 10.”

Purpose: Transition the confidence from the past memory to the present and future situation.

Repeat Regularly

Action: Encourage John to repeat this process as often as possible to reinforce the feeling of confidence.

By following these steps, John can build unshakable confidence through recalling empowering moments and applying those positive feelings to current challenges.