Do you ever find yourself dreading something because you just know how it’s going to turn out? And then, sure enough, you do the thing and it is almost as bad as you think it will be, or worse.
It is natural for us to plan emotionally for something, and sometimes that looks like starting with the negative. For example, you might say to yourself “Ugh! I have to go to work and it’s going to be so busy and I’m never going to get anything done.”
These statements set the tone, and create a template for our subconscious minds to work from. Almost like a to-do list, everything you do from that point forward will be experienced through the filter of how you decided it will be. Minor inconveniences are more taxing, you may be less tolerant, more tired, more grumpy.
Our minds are goal-oriented, and we will always find what we go looking for. Managing our experiences can start with managing how you think of them, and it can be as easy as changing your focus.
If you are already deciding that something is going to be unpleasant, you can respond to your self-talk with positive reframing using hypnotic language tools that are more effective and don’t feel like you are just trying to fool yourself.
First of all, we never deny reality. But we can be more choosy about which reality we focus on.
For example, you may be tired and telling yourself that today is going to be long and difficult because you feel tired. That is one potential outcome, and if you go on with that expectation, you are likely to have that experience.
Alternately, you can shift your focus to what is positive about the day. Maybe the sun is out, or you are looking forward to seeing someone at work. Perhaps the coffee or tea tastes extra good this morning. And you may simply realize that you do not have the ability to see into the future.
When you are focusing on negatives, begin actively looking for a few things that are positive. This will bring your focus away from those negatives and change the direction of your whole day.
What Went Well? Why?
Another powerful reframing tool is to ask yourself what went well in a situation, and why it went well. This will help you to recognize the positive impacts of an experience, boosting your confidence and self-esteem. From that place of confidence it is easier to keep things in perspective.
You can also use this technique before something happens. Ask yourself What is going to go well, and why? Yes, you are still speculating, but by focusing on the positive you aren’t setting yourself up for failure.
You have the ability to define your experiences using simple hypnotic strategies. Use these for yourself and notice what changes in your life!